There was a blood drive at my office and I figured it was my duty to donate, since I was feeling healthy that day. So I stand in line for what seems like forever and then get up to the questionnaire that asks if you’ve ever slept with a monkey, and if so how long ago. Surprisingly they did not know about me and BoBo, so I went on to round two, the finger prick. This booth always scares the shit out of me, even with the thought that soon a HUGE hollow needle will be going into my arm for several minutes. Something about that little prick in my finger creeps me out even more. So I manned up took the stick, thankfully making it to the cot to get prepped for the stick in the crook of the arm.

I must have drawn the newest nurse in the world, because she took her time putting that needle in, saying ‘Ooops!’ far to many times for me to be okay. The worst part was she had forgotten to take the tourniquet off my arm once the needle was out, so I had to try an fill the bad with what had already drained into my arm before she took the flow away. I managed to buck up like a champ and get that bag filled in record time, regardless.

So I figured I had done another successful blood donation. Yay for me! Turns out the next day my left arm developed these bruises near my elbow, the side of my arm and near where the stick had been. I figured it was due to the Nazi tourniquet she had on me at the time, but I would later be told that she had punctured my vein all the way through, making it bleed inside my arm; hence the bruising. I was also told it would not be a problem, and it would go away pretty soon, but I took some pictures of it anyway.

It just goes to show you, when the Red Cross shows up in a van, you get the fuck out of there. Only their biggest idiots get put on the van. Either that or their evil geniuses who want to see how much pain they can inflict on the world.